Hello Ladies! How are you? It’s been a while so I would like to wish you all a Happy New year. 2018’s first blog post is about us and being single but stay tuned for the weekly blog posts about anything that has to do with us women. Do not hesitate to contact me about questions you may have about relationships, work or even styling tips. This page is for all of us to be one, be real and to be heard.
So… Back to today’s post. Are you single in your mid-30s? Are you seeing all your friends and relatives getting married? Are you being asked constantly how can you still be single? Do people keep wondering how a woman like you is single? Do you feel society and everyone around you breathing down your neck about having a relationship, a marriage and kids? Well, I do. My response to the questions above is a big fat -“Yes” but I have some questions too for all those out there who are wondering why me and a lot of women like me are single in this day and age.
Have you once thought about what we, single women want? Are we happy being single spending our time with friends and loved ones instead of being in a dysfunctional relationship that we feel alone? Have you ever thought that being single, being alone is not being lonely? Have you ever thought that we value ourselves and our worth, something that by the way takes strength and balls to do? When a guy meets a woman, especially in her mid-late 30s, has he ever stopped for one second to think that she doesn’t just want a family and kids but to explore a nice relationship or have fun with a potential partner? I bet that the majority of men haven’t. Why? Because all I hear the minute that I meet someone is; “Don’t you wanna have kids?”, “Don’t you wanna get married?”, “How can a woman like you be single?”- which by the way guys, it’s not a compliment so stop asking that question. Well, Yes! I do want to get married and have kids but ONLY if I find someone who inspires me and makes me feel safe to have a family with him. Or I might never get married and have kids but I do want someone who makes me happy. And here’s another answer for you; if I don’t meet a guy that respects me and my values and makes me smile the way I make him smile, I choose to be single and happy. Even though sometimes it is scary, I personally find it selfish to marry somebody and have kids with him just for the sake of it. Hence all the divorces nowadays and all the kids out there caught up in the middle. What’s weird though is that even divorced women are more accepted by society than single women of the exact same age.
Nowadays, the majority of people are alienated. They either hide behind social media, work or fear of actual communication with people. People go out, don’t flirt and don’t even talk to each other anymore. Many times, they don’t even see who is standing or sitting right next to them. How sad is that? And if you are one of those people who is polite and talk or attempt to talk, people usually stare back in shock. I have experienced that a lot of times with men and women. Communication, a smile, a kind word, politeness, honesty… Do any of these ring a bell? Lets all wake up and remind ourselves their value. Let’s start communicating for real! Fb-insta-viber-what’s up-twitter-snapchat communication don’t count! I am talking about literal face to face communication and not face time!
Being single is absolutely normal when we live in a society that real communication is at the verge of becoming extinct. Still though, our society is hanged up on judging women who are single. You might be divorced, gay, transsexual, bisexual, someone who sleeps around or only dates and marries wealthy people, you might be in a completely dysfunctional marriage, you might be cheating on your spouse or partner and a lot more examples that are pretty common nowadays. But being single is like being an alien. How funny is that? The need of our society to keep judging and pointing fingers is pathetic. Gay, straight, married, single, divorced, whatever your preferences in life or in the way you want to live your life is none of my business. I respect it and I don’t judge. It’s time everybody took a step back and stopped criticizing and making assumptions about single women. You don’t’ know why we are single, you don’t know if we are happy, you don’t know our needs, and you definitely don’t know what we want. We are the only ones who actually know what we desire the most.
I want to applaud all the single women out there who never stop trying to become a better version of themselves, who are in touch with their feelings, needs, wants and who embrace their choices and the person they truly are . As for me? I want to also applaud myself for the reasons I just mentioned because I am one of those women.
My name is Laura Kolokitha, I am single and proud of it. Sometimes, it is scary, sometimes it is lonely and sometimes I wish I had someone true by my side. I still hope to find someone who will make me smile and who will inspire me to keep evolving. Regardless, all those feelings that are completely normal (and I would be a total liar if I said that I didn’t feel them) I feel extremely happy where I am right now. No matter what life has thrown my way, I’ve managed through hard consistent work on myself to turn it around to find the positive meaning, keep going forward and smiling. What I love the most about where I am right now, is that I am true to myself . All I want is to keep being happy and having ONLY positive people around me. That’s all I wish for all of you single ladies out there! Be true to yourself, love yourself, respect your needs and values and be happy for everything that you are and have in your life. Happiness is not marriage and kids or being in a relationship out of fear of being rejected by society or out of fear of being alone. Happiness is being with people who are positive, who make you smile, who challenge you in a constructive way and who inspire you to be everything you are and more. Make sure you have your eyes open for when this special person comes along so as to hold on to him and enjoy the ride no matter where it takes you.
In the meantime, smile, be positive and enjoy all the little things that fill your moments with joy.